MULDOON’S CLEVER GIRLS LYRICS
“I Fucked Up”
I fucked up.
Yeah, I fucked up!
Go ahead and tell everybody that, yeah, I fucked up.
Every morning, every evening, every day I fucked up.
Mama would cry and how much I fucked up!
I’m not sorry.
I don’t feel bad!
I tried my best to keep things tight.
And I can’t seem to get anything right.
Fuck.
And still the water falls
I run around here
You couldn’t have it all
And still it’s on my mind
So what about me
You couldn’t change it all
Within the last few sentences
True love will shine apart
Well I don’t care no more
And what do I see
You couldn’t ever care
It’s all another tree
But I am not free
While you could chose it all
And you’re still not to call
So what about me
When you say you’ll be gone
Within the last few sentences
True love will shine apart
Within the last two sentences
Well I completely fell apart
Within the last two sentences
And with so many things to write
I kept it all inside
It’s the last two sentences
It’s the last few seconds left
_____
Collaboration-version of “Kill”
Featuring:
Alvin Schutmaat - vocals http://www.youtube.com/ubikspraymusic
Cody Weber - Speaking vocals http://www.youtube.com/saturninefilms
David Le Duc - Vocals, bass http://www.youtube.com/user/davidleduc85
Raven Zoe Hurt - Vocals www.youtube.com/user/officialravenzoe
Arno Ceres - Synth http://www.youtube.com/youglymusic
Matthew Cody Love - Strings http://www.youtube.com/user/matthewcodylove
DxDutch - Vocals www.youtube.com/user/DxDutch
Seph Bentos - Vocals/Guitar http://www.youtube.com/SephBentos
Bailey Sutton - Glockenspiel/Vox http://www.youtube.com/TheFloaty
Sebastian Wielsch - vocals http://www.youtube.com/LiarConfess
Alec Panician - Glockenspiel
Hannamarie Kumpusalo - Vocals www.youtube.com/Ivanh0el
Julian Cuisant Jr. - Vocals http://www.youtube.com/swiszcz93
Sarah - Vocals
Zach Loetscher - Vocals
Philippe Marmonier - Vocals
Julien Neel - Vocals www.youtube.com/trudbol
Michael Lepore - Vocals
C - Vocals
I have a tattoo of an anchor on my thumb
to remind of the things that held me down
when I was young
I have a scar on my knee that means the same thing to me
because I have no fucking clue what it
manifested from.
This dude has been watching my videos since 2007. It blows my mind that there is a human out there that thinks 2007 was my best year artistically. I look back at that era with such disgust and embarrassment. I was still learning and, in my opinion, in an infancy.
Underneath the review of my videos, this is a kid with an interesting scope that I’ve never considered in all my years of making videos. There are certain people that have watched me grow up. Isn’t that kind of crazy? I was seventeen years old when I started doing videos for YouTube. I’m twenty-three now. Some people, like this sixteen year old kid named Skyler, started watching my stuff as young kids. Skyler mentions stumbling on a video I made about Chris Benoit after he murdered his wife and son. He was eleven at the time. It was 2007 and he’s been watching ever since.
In that time, I went from a fat teenager to an emaciated young adult. I evolved. I changed. Skyler holds 2007 as a peak year because that’s when he discovered my stuff. As an artist that is in a constant pursuit of personal evolution, this keeps happening to me. 2007 is my peak. No, 2008 is. No, 2009 is. No, 2010 is. No, 2011 is.
No, 2012 will be. For some new people, anyway.
I replied to this video twice. My first response was useless and didn’t get to the heart of his message, which was, “I don’t want to grow up like you did.” Here’s what I wrote in its place:
”You’ll grow up. Hold off for as long as you can, don’t get me wrong, but you will. We all do. You’ll make things that people will hate, but the only thing that matters is that YOU love it. I think I’m at my best now. There’s no such thing as going back.”
And there isn’t. I couldn’t go back to 2007 if I had to. I lived with a girl that I don’t even know anymore. My dad paid all the bills and I had no real concerns in life. New things inspire people with time and going back is even worse than staying the same. I refuse to be the dude that thinks there is such a thing as a peak. There isn’t. It’s all an exploration, just like life, and the future is more interesting than the past is to me.
I’m not interested in stories anymore, not like I used to be, anyway. That’s kind of my point. I’m never the same person, I just share the narrative. My story is useless because it’s different to all parties involved, so who really cares about it? In fact, I actively run from my stories because they’re embarrassing or, worse yet, they make me cynical and bitter. There’s nothing worse than being cynical and I used to roll around in it like a pig in fresh shit. I still believe there are some evil things about the world that can’t be changed, but I’d rather ignore them than let it defeat me personally. That’s what growing up is. It’s choosing your battles and not allowing them to choose you.
I don’t want to ever think I’m at my best. That’s where the young kid I used to be still lives. My art allows me to stay young forever, even though I’m already grown.
Still, it’s flattering that someone on this planet found me as that fat teenager and stayed around.
It’s flattering as a motherfucker.
I have a game that I play when I hang out with my sister. She hates photos that she doesn’t prepare for and I hate it when she prepares for photos. I probably have hundreds from over the years of her just being pissed off at me.
This is one of those photos.
It must be a pain in the ass to have me as a brother. :P
She slithered to the bar with a spade tongue, far from the eel that her grandmother was!
She ordered two shots of a poison called rot and on belly she swam through the dust.
As the drink kicked in and the snake blacked out, and venom dripped thick from the crease of its mouth;
letting ghosts fly in and skeletons out!
She slithered through the door with elbows sore, carpet-burned skin and a raw hide
“Here we go again!” As bone betrayed skin and scales grew out from the inside
The snake never talked but she laughed and sucked cock and bit as the orgasm came
So it’s Adam and Eve, but it’s never believed.
The story just plays out the same.
As the drink wore off and the light flipped on, when venom was vomit still ripe on her tongue!
But it slipped into lung like fate or an old shoe struck against the fucking temple.
You called it a hangover, but I’m just hangin’.
If I spend my whole life looking back, at some point I’ll break my neck.
And since I’m such a nervous wreck, I’ll put it on the line! Except/Accept?
Through the deep and foggy cavalcade
The makeshift, barfly renegades
All for epiphanies that don’t feel right;
and I couldn’t fall asleep that night.
So this is how it sounds when we burn out?
Oh, this is how it sounds when I don’t doubt it.
Oh, you can’t love me like I love you? Like I loved you.
So I won’t be sorry when I stop, too.
Yeah, I stopped too!
So I won’t be sorry when I stop, too.
Yeah, I stopped, too.
Music by Cody Weber and Alvin Schutmaat
Lyrics and Art by Cody Weber
As pretentious as this is going to sound, this is the only time I’ve ever been genuinely nervous to upload a video. I put my entire soul into this project, all of my mentalities and feelings toward people, as much as I possibly could.
It’s a little like walking around town naked, minus skin and exposing the bits of yourself that nobody knows about but you.
And instead of being ashamed like I always have been, I’m going to share it all with the world.
Fuck it.
I’m pretty excited about it. www.nalaniproctor.com
New album! How exciting is this?!
Very cool. Everyone go check this out.
PS: Sorry I didn’t get those hi-res photos to you. I couldn’t find them anywhere.
Projects:
WREN ♫
MULDOON'S CLEVER GIRLS ♪
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FANGS æ
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